Dozen Drabbles
by The Shang Kraken
Summary: Twelve drabbles focusing on random characters and situations. Written for the Final Prophecy Library's "Dozen Drabbles" contest.
1. Job Perks

**Required Phrase: "I nearly peed myself laughing"**

"Just take it, Crabbe!" I ordered. "When did you start questioning my orders anyway?"

"I don't know, Malfoy," Crabbe said in his soft grunt of a voice. "You didn't tell me what this potion would do-"

"Drink the dang potion!" I yelled. Time spent arguing is time wasted when you work for the Dark Lord.

He gave me a nervous glance, then downed the potion. My thickset minion with the pudding-bowl haircut morphed into… a first year Hufflepuff girl.

I nearly peed myself laughing, or rather, trying not to laugh at the confused "girl" in front of me.

Maybe this mission had perks after all.


	2. A Death In the Family

**Required Phrase: "sometimes I wish I was a muggle"**

"I-I-I can't believe he's dead!" wailed twelve-year-old Rubeus Hagrid as he sat in Professor Dippet's office.

"I know this is difficult for you," the professor consoled him. "But arrangements can—"

"It's not the same!" he cried. "I've got no family! The other kids are afraid of me—"

"Students are afraid of you?" Dippet inquired.

"Yeah," Hagrid wept. "Sometimes I wish I was a Muggle, but I wouldn't fit in any better there."

"Listen here," Dippet ordered. "We are going to find you a place to live and you are going to graduate in five years. Nothing can change that."

Hagrid only nodded mutely.


	3. An Embarassing Encounter

**Required Phrase: "Go away"**

Ginny Weasley was a first year. That meant she was curious, impressionable, and—well, that was about it.

It was for this reason that she found herself wandering among empty classrooms one rainy afternoon. She could hear something moving in the next room…

She gently pushed open the door to see inside and was shocked by what she saw. Percy, her fussy prefect brother, was intently snogging a girl she didn't know.

She let out an audible gasp, which, unfortunately, was heard by Percy.

He whirled around and ordered, "Ginny, go away! Now!"

Ginny obeyed. She couldn't wait to tell the twins!


	4. Blind Dates

**Required Phrase: "he/she rolled his/her eyes"**

"This is absolutely the _last_ 'Win a Date with Lockhart,' contest," Gilderoy Lockhart informed his publicist tartly as he dressed for a big night out.

"Of course, sir," she assured him hastily as she rolled her eyes.

"What was the girl's story again?" Lockhart asked as he spritzed on his signature cologne.

"She says she met you once about ten years back," the publicist informed him. "Her name is… Ginny Weasley."

"Hmm…" Lockhart shrugged. "I don't recognize the name, but then again, I meet so many woman every day…"

"Well, good luck, sir," the publicist answered as she left. "She sounds like a charming lady."


	5. Chaos

**Required Phrase: "pandemonium"**

"Peeves?" Nearly-Headless Nick called. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"What's this?" squealed Peeves. "The Headless ghostie wants my help?"

"_Please_ Peeves," Nick begged. "I need you to help me bug Filch."

"Ah, now I'm interested," cooed Peeves.

"He's in his office, about to give Harry Potter a year-long detention, and I want to spring him out," Nick explained.

"Get to the point," Peeves pushed.

"See that vanishing cabinet?" Nick sighed. "If you'll just drop it right there, above Filch's office, I'll leave you alone."

Peeves complied and heard Filch's cry. Ah, the pandemonium was music to the poltergeist's ears.


	6. Culinary Catastrophes

**Required Phrase: "I was drenched"**

"Try the spell one more time, Tonks," I prompted patiently.

"I can do this," Tonks remarked out loud, seemingly for her own benefit.

I couldn't understand why a trained auror was incapable of boiling water. This was insane!

"_Aguamenti_!" Tonks said firmly as she flicked her wand.

A generous amount of water poured into the pot. Tonks squealed and did a small dance, predictably knocking the pot off the stove in the process.

"Oops!" she squealed. "My bad, Molly!"

I was drenched from the waist down.

"I guess I'll leave then," she suggested. "Thanks for the lesson! Same time tomorrow?"


	7. Don't Sweat the Breakups

**Required Phrase: "Mmm, tasty"**

Michael Corner was an idiot, but as a result of Ginny's most recent break-up, George, the big brother, had to do _something_ to her ex-boyfriend.

As the target took his seat in the Great Hall, George levitated a small pile of powder into Corner's goblet. The boy soon filled the goblet with chocolate milk, of which he took a large swig.

"Mmm, tasty," Corner remarked loudly.

A moment later, Corner was overcome with an unusual urge. He sprinted toward Professor McGonagall and began loudly declaring his undying love for the woman.

George nodded happily. The newest love potion was a hit.


	8. Introductions

**Required Phrase: "You're kidding me"**

"Excuse me? Mr. Scamander?" Luna Lovegood called.

The elderly writer lowered his newspaper.

"Hi! I'm Luna and I'd like to talk to you about your book," she chirped.

"Can you keep it quick?" he replied.

"Sure thing," she grinned. "I just wanted to ask why the Crumple-Horned Snorkack wasn't included in the fifty-second edition. It's a fascinating creature!"

There was silence for a moment before the man grunted, "You're kidding me, right Luna?"

"I'm very serious, Mr. Scamander," she protested.

"Listen, young lady," he told her. "I'm no longer writing, but I think you would get along marvelously with my grandson Rolf…"


	9. Oh the Ironies

**Required Phrase: "Clang!"**

Clang! A spoon went flying into her goblet of pumpkin juice, almost spilling it.

"Hey, Myrtle!" yelled Olive Hornby, the one who had thrown the utensil. "Where'd you get your glasses? Your grandmother's closet?"

"They're the latest in Paris!" Myrtle lied back.

"Nobody likes you because you're so ugly!" Olive screeched.

"You're just saying that to make yourself feel better!" Myrtle snapped.

"At least I don't wear geek glasses! Go die!" yelled Olive.

The geek comment stung a nerve. Myrtle rose from her seat, vowing not to cry until she was in the safety of the second-floor lavatory.


	10. Revenge

**This collection of drabbles were written for the Final Prophecy Library's Term IX "Dozen Drabbles" Contest. Each drabble was required to contain a specific phrase. For this one it was "What are you doing?"**

Disclaimer: I am at the mercy of the all-powerful, all-knowing JK Rowling. However, if I get sued, does it mean I get to meet her? Hmm…

"Mum!" screamed eleven-year-old Fred Weasley. "Ron broke my toy broomstick!"

"I'm _sorry_, Fred! Please don't hurt me!" begged nine-year-old Ron, clutching his old teddy bear, Cuddles, as a shield.

"You broke my broom!" hollered Fred once more. "Mum! Come punish Ron!"

"Please no, Fred!" pleaded Ron. "I'll do anything."

Spotting his father's wand on the table, Fred picked it up and walked toward his little brother.

"What are you doing?" Ron stammered.

There was a flash, and Cuddles transformed into a hideous spider. In later years Fred remarked that Ron's scream more than made up for the price of the broomstick.


	11. You're Happier Not Knowing

**Required Phrase: "bologna"**

Harry hated Christmas shopping. Thankfully, he and Ginny only needed to buy for one more person—Mr. Weasley.

"Oh, come on, Ginny!" he protested. "Let's just nip into Muggle London, buy some gadget and call it a day!"

"Alright, but don't get something stupid," she cautioned him.

They entered a large supermarket and Harry tried to think of something unique.

As he passed the deli, an idea struck him. "Ginny, do wizards eat bologna?"

She shook her head. "It sounds weird."

"I'll let you try some," he promised. "Just don't ask me what's in it."


	12. Without Choices

**Required Phrase: "life isn't fair"**

"I don't want to do it, Father," came the voice of Draco Malfoy, small and timid. The teenager had never stood up to his father before.

"What did you just say?!" demanded Lucius in shock.

"I said I didn't want to do it," whimpered the boy.

"You'll serve the Dark Lord if I say you'll serve him!" Lucius yelled.

"But, it's n-n-n-not fair," Draco stammered.

"Life isn't fair!" Lucius bellowed. "You'll do what I say!"

"Yes, father," Draco submitted, knowing he could not win this fight. His only hope was that he could get out of this mess alive.


End file.
